A Good Boy

In the 70s, my grandparents owned a small vineyard which had a stream flowing through it. It's sides were steep and narrow, so they only had a flat bridge with no sides on it which wide enough for a tractor or harvester to cross it.

They also had a Labrador, Horace, who was a beautiful short-haired russet brown. Because we are a sheep-farming country, farmers can shoot dogs that are worrying their sheep on sight. So, Horace was trained to leave sheep alone.

One day, when grandad arrived at the vineyard he found about ten young sheep in the smaller front half of the property. Being a small number and close to the road, he thought he could quickly round them up and pop them back in the fields next door. To stop them going into the larger back area, he put Horace in the centre of the bridge and said, 'Sit! Stay!' Hoping Horace would put them off going that way, he began to move the sheep.

All was going well. Grandad had got them out from under the vines and they were heading towards the gate when suddenly the leader broke free and headed towards the bridge and Horace. All the others followed. As they stampeded past, some of them jumped him, before streaming into the vines beyond. Poor Horace crouched down, shivering in abject misery as they flowed by.

Grandad swore, then walked up to Horace. 'Good boy,' he told him and ruffled him behind the ears.

Anger

 I felt so angry and misunderstood. However, I must admit I was rude and abrupt, but I didn't want to listen to a long explanation when I knew the answer and whatever they said wasn't going to change it.

Let me tell you what happened.

My friend showed me her passport. "I have the visa already!"

I looked at it, but it was a sticker on the outside with a barcode.

"No, that isn't the visa. That was for the passport office so they didn't lose your passport."

I showed her a real visa inside the passport. 

"No," she said. "There was an email before about it..."

"No! It isn't the visa," I said. "I don't want to see the email. I know visas go inside."

"You didn't listen!"

"Sorry. But I know it isn't the visa." I walked away. My friend was very angry and slammed the door. 

We didn't talk for a while, but I can hear her singing now. So, maybe we can talk about it later. 

Rain

 The rain falls. 

It stops. 

It falls.

I walk in the rain to the cafe. I order a coffee. Then I sit and wait. My bags are on the chair next to me. My clothes and shoes are wet, but I'm happy. 

My friend sits down in the chair opposite me. We talk and laugh. We have some cake. I want some more cake, but I say no.

It's time to go home. I pick up my bags and I hug my friend. We say goodbye.

I walk back through the rain. 

It stops. 

It falls.

I catch the train, then I am home.

#ESL #Shortstories #BeginnerESL #StarterESL

Restarting

 I started this blog over ten years ago. It was a great idea, but I am easily distracted and I eventually stopped posting. I'd peek into it now and then to make sure it was still going, and I even made a couple more, one on gardening and one on plus-size clothes. Both of which have stalled too. But three years ago, I learned something about myself. I have ADHD and knowing this has made a profound impact on my life.

As an older person, the way I found out at 49 was by learning that my younger daughter has ADHD. I must admit, we had been told this when she was about 11, but she didn't show 'typical' indications of ADHD, which is complete hyperactivity and running around like a mad thing as pop culture has us believing that is all it is, so I didn't believe it. Also, I didn't like the psychiatrist who barely interacted with her and only talked to us, her parents, so I lost trust in him. Anyway, like many things connected to humanity, ADHD is more complex than that simple idea and one of the reasons ADHD in girls is underdiagnosed, or has been, is that they can present differently. I'm not going to discuss that as there are lots more resources around that can explain it better and I'll put in links below, suffice to say, it's why I and my two daughters didn't get diagnosed or believed until we were adults.

Now that I have known for the last three years I have swung around in my emotions about it. I've felt relief to understand why I have behaved certain ways and seemed to undermine my own self at every turn. Then swung to anger about what seems to be a stupid brain fart and wondering what the point of ADHD is. I put the last thought out on Twitter and was gifted the answer in the form of a book recommendation called "ADHD, A Hunter in a Farmer's World" By Thom Hartmann. It helped me considerably and I felt slightly less angry. 

However, it has been a matter of learning how to deal with having ADHD. I've been collecting tools through great online ADHD influencers. Learned how to manage tasks ADHD style and also how to forgive myself when I fail (still working on that one). One important tool is doing things in manageble chunks. Hence, today I'm writing this post. It's a little step towards my goals this year.

Cheers!

https://www.adhd.org.nz/ 

https://www.adhd.org.nz/self-screening-assessment-tool-for-adults-who-suspect-that-they-have-adhd.html 

https://blackgirllostkeys.com/

https://www.youtube.com/c/HowtoADHD